I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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