Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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