I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize