KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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