I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
