Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
The feeling are messing with the penis
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
