the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
