He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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