Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
