i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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