I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
