The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
