I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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