9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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