so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Be still, my beating vagina.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm getting married
To pizza
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
