I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
