turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize