In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize