My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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