it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
