i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
