You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
