i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
