I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
