nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
