he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
