At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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