i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
