For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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