we're blogging at a bar
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
