We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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