To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
