talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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