Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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