White coat. Heels.
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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