Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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