Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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