we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
