watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
