Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
