I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
