OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
