how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I faked an abortion last night.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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