yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
