I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
