Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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