apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
