Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
