I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
