and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize