I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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