yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
