i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
