How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
