when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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