you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
