theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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