How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
