eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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