i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
