I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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