I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
