i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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