if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
