Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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